The bookstore where I work has ladders. You know, the kind that are attached to a track and can move along a wall of bookshelves. Being a fairly narrow place, the ladders often block the path between a table and the wall. Not a huge deal, right? Either slide the ladder out of the way or walk underneath it. Both methods are simple and effective.

However, there are many, many people who choose neither of these obvious options and, instead, will walk 10-15 ft. out of their way (around the tables) just so they don’t have to walk under the ladder. This is extraordinarily stupid and I—silently, of course—judge those who refuse to walk under the ladder(s).

Perhaps these folk do not understand the origin of the “don’t walk under a ladder” superstition. I could sympathize if it was, say, a free-standing ladder with cans of paint precariously balanced at the apex. But here we have ladders attached to a wall upon which there is balanced precisely nothing. So unless you’re a morbidly obese person who risks getting jammed between one of these ladders and the wall, what you’re really telling me through your actions is that you lack sufficient reasoning skills and are probably terrified of handling mirrors.

It should also tell you that bookstore clerks are, indeed, absolute dickheads. (This is only marginally true.—ed.)

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